How to Not Let Life Get in the Way of Living Your Songwriting Dreams

Based on the content of Episode 15, The Magic of Songwriting with Francesca de Valence

To live a creative life as a songwriter, as an artist, there is no one path. There is no creative ladder to climb, or clear structure to operate within. We can only really sense if we’re on track or off track. And we all know that staying on track is going to result in creative growth and opportunities.

As it’s so easy to get distracted, we want to support you with some tools to stay on track to continue to walk the rich and rewarding path of being a songwriter and experience the wealth of goodness that songwriting provides.

We have grown accustomed to limiting ourselves

American Author Marianne Williamson writes, “Our deepest fear is not that we are inadequate. Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure. It is our light, not our darkness, that most frightens us. We ask ourselves, ‘Who am I to be brilliant, gorgeous, talented, fabulous?’ Actually, who are you not to be? You are a child of God. Your playing small doesn’t serve the world.”

These words so plainly identify how we limit ourselves to stay small, to stay comfortable, to stay hidden. We hold ourselves back because if we don’t, we’d be forced to grow, we’d be seen differently by others. And that can feel uncomfortable. The ways we hold ourselves back are in how we talk to ourselves and about ourselves, and through our actions.

The power of thought

Whatever we focus on becomes our future. What we say and think holds a vibrational frequency and we attract other things that resonate at that same frequency. But often people get stuck in limiting language and thinking that makes them powerless in achieving what they want for their life.

For example, if you’re telling yourself you’re a terrible songwriter, you’re going to find lots of evidence to support that.

Likewise, telling yourself you can’t write songs? You’ll attract that. It’ll be a struggle to write.

Are you telling yourself you’re too old to write songs? Consequently, you’ll be too old to write.

Still wondering if you have more songs for you? Cool, stay wondering…and confirm that you don’t have those songs in you, by staying wondering about it.

Wrote a great song but it’s all downhill from here! Yes, you shall have that too!

“Argue for your limitations, and sure enough they’re yours.” Wise words from another wonder writer Richard Bach. It’s almost like our words weave a magical spell that creates our future.

First steps to unlimited thinking

The first step is becoming aware of your thoughts, and once you become aware of your thoughts, you’ll realise that everything is a choice.

What are you choosing by your thoughts? Choose only the best for yourself, of course. Admittedly it takes some work to be able to focus on what you want – not don’t want – but we recommend getting started and staying committed to that for life, because isn’t that a far more helpful and supportive position to operate from than the other?

One way you can stay aware of your thoughts is by journaling – writing your thoughts down on paper and being able to observe those thoughts outside of yourself.

Another way is to create a reminder for yourself – perhaps a timer, or a post-it note – and whenever the reminder goes off or you see the post-it note, do a quick audit of what you’ve been telling yourself for the past 20 mins. What loop has been playing? And what have you been confirming to yourself? Then ask yourself, is that true? Am I holding myself back in any way?

As you start becoming aware of the power of thoughts and words, you’ll start to see how much we’ve culterized self-limitation. You’ll see it in people’s social media feeds, you’ll hear it in conversations with people in the shops, on the train, in cafes, at the dog park, on the TV. It’s endemic.

Get curious and create an unlimited reality

Once you’re aware of what’s really going on and what you’re really choosing, that’s the time to get curious and offer yourself a bigger imagination and many more amazing options to choose from than the ones you’ve currently got going on.

So how can you get curious and have a bigger imagination? You could do this by asking yourself some questions like: What do I really want to be doing? If I had unlimited resources, time and imagination, what do I really want to be doing?

And then action that!

Take the very next step

Gaining mental clarity is one thing, but actioning it is another thing again. Once you have clarity of what it is that you want to do – then quite simply do it. That sounds so simple. And it really can be. But we complicate things so much through our thoughts and what we tell ourselves.

Ask yourself some more questions to get clarity on what those next steps are. What is the very next step I can take towards this? How can I take a step forward?

If an idea comes to you, action it in some way. That’s you honouring the idea, saying back to that idea, “Thank you for coming to me and visiting me. I want us to be in constant communication, so I will do something with that idea”.

The power of action

Taking consistent action towards the life you want to live, will change your life. There will be opportunities to be pulled off track, but see those as opportunities for you to recommit to what really matters to you.

Life will always present opportunities for you to recommit to what really matters to you.

Notice where there are opportunities to be pulled off track. Can you stay committed to yourself and your dreams whilst things happen around you?

Writing songs regularly will change how you feel about writing songs. It can even change your beliefs about yourself. Just as inaction can do the same. Not been songwriting for a while? There’s that fear that starts to creep in that you might not be able to write again…

One of our Club members told us this: “I’ve written more in the past 10 weeks than I’ve done in ages and the shadowy fear that I might not write another song again – has been put to the sword.” – Leah Jett

Action can change your beliefs about yourself

To get pulled off path or even put on the brakes can be draining. By the time you’ve thought about it and come up with all the ways to put it off, you could have done it already – with far less effort than what it took to stop yourself.

To sum up, the time it takes to put off writing a song, you could have just written one already.

As a result of choosing the same action each time, you will build up energy and momentum to get where you want to go. It’s like taking an energetic run up to reach the next level. Those who choose writing songs every time gain this amazing energy and they feel incredible. They have arrived at this wonderful feeling place because they are writing songs and experiencing that big creative magic frequently, experiencing more of their potential.

Even when things are going well, we can limit ourselves

Then the strangest thing happens. Perhaps you’ve experienced this before. Everything is going well, these writers are writing great songs, feeling great about their songwriting. And then suddenly they stop writing.

They might tell themselves that they have enough songs, that they feel great now. But that’s not why they stop. They stop because they fear what they will want next; they fear shining even brighter; they fear they’re not worthy of feeling that good for so long – they fear the unlimited.

And there, just like Marianne Williamson said. “Our deepest fear is that we are powerful beyond measure.”

People only go so far because they used to limiting themselves. They’re used to playing small and being a certain way for others. And if they keep going, if they keep growing, it will change things. When you change, the energy of you is different and others will feel it.

So they find something to take them off track. Something to limit their ability to shine their light. And guess what? They will find it and they will magnetically draw more of that to them, confirming to themselves that this is where they belonged in the first place. Convenient evidence that backs up this limited reality.

Leading the way for others

Anyone can visit this amazing feeling place by doing things consistently, but those who stay there and live their dreams, and continually expand are those who stay committed to themselves for life. And those will lead the way to be able to show others how to do this too.

In short, living the life you want is about who you become by consistently doing the things that will get you there. Welcome the opportunities that life will always present to you to remind you to recommit to what really matters to you.

This is about being accountable to living the life that you want. And whilst you might think that sounds kind of unsexy, once you’re living your wildest creative dreams, I’m sure that none of that is going to matter… and you’ll be so grateful for everything you did to make that a reality.

If you’d like to work with me, send me an email at [email protected]

And if you don’t want to waste another moment wondering if you’ve got another great song in you, come and join us in the club.

Episode Show Notes:

Get your creativity, confidence, and songwriting output flowing. Join The Club and receive the support and structure to write 10 songs in 10 weeks and get feedback from a private peer community. This is THE essential writing practice that has changed the careers and lives of 1000s of songwriters worldwide.

Just getting started on your songwriting journey and need more hands-on support? Establish a firm foundation and develop your musical and lyric skills with our Beginner Songwriting Courses. They are the perfect place to begin and cover everything you need to know to write your first songs. You’ll receive lessons from Francesca directly!

Don’t struggle to write your next album – write an album a year with ease! Watch our Free Songwriting Masterclass.

Want more for your songwriting but don’t know where to go from here? Take the I Heart Songwriting Club Quiz to discover your next steps and inspire your way to writing better songs.